jezabell's Blog

Today has been a pretty hard day. All week I have been crying but this seam to been a little harder on me. My grandfather passed away Tuesday evening (October 14th) and it has been hard on me. I was extremely close to my grandfather from the time I was born. As my grandmother say's "You were the apple of grandpa's eye" which even hurt more because for the last 3 years I have not really been around. Once you grow up sometimes you find other things to do.. or  your life as a mother and wife seam to take over. I ended up moving to VA in April of 06 and to be honest, I think that was the last time I actually saw my grandfather. I just moved back home to NY in June after I separated from my husband, But I never understood the severity of my grandfather's illness, for some reason or another I thought he was the King.. the man of Power, the one who would be here forever. I am 33.... so you would think I knew there is no such thing as forever and I do know, but I guess it was different when it came to my grandfather ... Why? I see it as someone who will forever be in my life, Just like my mother and my father.. do you really think about them dieing, do you really see it in your future ? I know I don't and so of course this is why I thought my grandfather would never go.

We buried him this morning, I was a mess... all I could do was cry and weep the whole time. I must have been extremely annoying to everyone in the church. Most people knew me, But some did not. It hurt at times when some recognized my other cousins, but did not recognize me.. I was even the oldest grandchild all together. Some of my grandmother's family members of course they remembered me.... in fact they called me "Custard" when I was little... well My great grandma did and ever since then it has stuck... so they called me custard today.

Even though my grandfather is gone I will be sure to never forget him, never forget his loud voice, his big smile and his outgoing personality. My grandfather was full of life and I will always love him! 

R.I.P Grandpa Bill - I love You!